We often settle for emotionally unavailable partners. This can cause a lot of frustration and resentment in the relationship, leaving us emotionally drained and tired. However, this can also be a chronic habit of going for emotionally unavailable partners only. Why does it happen? “The reasons you’re drawn to emotionally unavailable partners are not always what you think. The first step to solving the issue is to know where it’s coming from. You need to get to the root of it and then you can heal,” wrote Relationship Coach Sabrina Alexis Bendory.
ALSO READ: Patterns that show emotional unavailability
Reasons why we settle for emotionally unavailable partners:
It’s a distraction: One of the main reasons why we keep going for emotionally unavailable partners is because it acts as a major distraction for us and our emotions. When we are too scared to face our own emotions or difficult feelings, we use emotionally distant partners as a way of keeping ourselves distracted.
Makes us feel good: We constantly play the one saving the emotionally unavailable partners with our love, care and affection. This also makes us feel good for doing do. This often stems from childhood need to be attended to and cared for. When we have a part that needs healing, we try to heal it through someone else.
Connected to the darkness: When we feel lost and sad inside, we connect with people with similar thought and behavioural patterns. That serves as a way of comforting ourselves to know that we are not alone in this.
We are emotionally unavailable: When we are also emotionally unavailable for ourselves as well as for others, we connect with the ones who have similar emotions. That helps us to not feel lonely.
Validation: We seek out for emotionally unavailable people to be able to make them feel connected to us and commit themselves to the relationship. This is a way of seeking validation.
