Ending a relationship or coming out of a relationship is not an easy process. It takes a lot of strength, effort and emotions to leave a relationship that once meant a lot to us. “Ending a relationship is rarely ever easy and straight forward. It is ok for you to feel however you feel, to worry about whatever you worry about and to grieve the loss in whatever way you need to grieve. Don’t push yourself too hard. Don’t force yourself to put on a brave face. Don’t try to fast forward a process that takes as long as it chooses it takes. There are better times ahead – that’s for sure,” wrote Relationship Coach Marlena Tillhon. She further added, “Allow yourself to grieve … and celebrate … and then maybe grieve again for a bit only to come out feeling relieved and excited about your new beginning.”
ALSO READ: Stages of heartbreak and how to move forward
Reasons why we leaving a relationship is so difficult:
Letting go of hope: When a relationship gets difficult, we often hold on to the hope that things will eventually get better, and we will not need to separate from the one we love. But when we decide on leaving the relationship, it means we give up on the hope of things becoming better with time.
The future we thought: When we are with someone, we often decide on a future together and imagine what it would look like. The fond memories and the time we spent together may have to be given up when we leave the relationship.
Certainty of someone by our side: Leaving a relationship also means throwing ourselves out in the open, away from our comfort zone where we don’t know if we will have someone by our side. That is a scary thought.
Daily support and interactions: The little things in the relationship – from having a support, to the small memories we share to the interactions we have with the one we are with – everything needs to be left behind when we decide to leave the relationship.
The role of a partner: We often mould an identity of ourselves based on the role we have as a partner in the relationship. Letting go of that identity often becomes very difficult.
